This is a subject we often would prefer if we never spoke of it, EVER and yet if we had a more open dialogue; we be so much further ahead. As we get older and for a variety of other reasons, intercourse can become painful; this may be down to a condition known as Vaginal Atrophy. It is a thinning, drying and inflammation of the vaginal walls due to less estrogen in your body. Vaginal atrophy occurs most often after menopause, but it can also develop during breast-feeding or at any other time your body's estrogen production declines. It is also very common after some cancer treatments.
For many women, vaginal atrophy makes intercourse painful â and if intercourse hurts, your interest in sex will naturally decrease. Simple, effective treatments for vaginal atrophy are available. Consider using a lubricant to start, a silicone or hybrid lubricant would be your best option. Silicone is considered hypo-allergenic and is very slick and long lasting. The only downside to silicone is that you cannot use silicone lubricant with silicone toys as there are incompatible and break each down. Another good option is to use a hybrid lubricant which is a combination of water and silicone based ingredients. There is not enough silicone to affect silicone toys, so this may be a very good alternative.
There is an old phrase "use or lose it" and this applies to vaginal atrophy. The more often you have intercourse or use a toy for penetration, the less likely this condition will arise. If you decide you'd like to try a toy to help, look for a smooth toy. It could be a dildo, meaning it will not vibrate or it could be a vibrator. Smooth toys helps decrease any irritation that may occur while using the toy. Remember to stimulate your clitoris first, think of this as foreplay; you need to be physically ready for penetration. Use lubricant, have some on hand to make the experience as hassle free as possible.
Remember, you are basically reeducating your body and we're not perfect the first time we try anything but with patience and perseverance you will make progress. And as always, if you have these concerns, consult your doctor; together you can work on finding a solution best for you.